Welcome to IS Survivor Publishing:
Sung to the tune Ghost Riders in the sky.
A computer and a telephone were sitting on a desk,
Every time he looked at them he just got more depressed,
'Cause they couldn't be connected, and nothing did the trick,
When the telephone was ringing,
The computer sat there like a brick.
Tippie yi Yaaaaay! Yippie yi Ohhhhh!
Tech weenies in the sky.
The tech he had a vision and he tried to make it real,
Wiring the two together should have very great appeal,
So screens can pop and calls can route and messages can play,
Keeping all the telemarketers,
And other pests at bay.
He couldn't get it working despite everything he tried,
He opened up the box and found the motherboard was fried,
The software it was buggy and cabling was a wreck,
And in his deep frustration,
You could hear him cry, "Oh, heck!"
It took a lot of duct tape, Band-Aids, chewing gum and sweat,
He hasn't got it working but it hasn't beat him yet,
The amount of troubleshooting effort turned out to be huge,
And when he finally finished,
He knew it was a kludge.
Go into any call center and you'll see CTI,
From Little Rock to Bangalore the connection's riding high,
But on average users' desktops we can see the standard twist:
If it ain't built into Outlook,
It simply don't exist.
If you want to be a hero; if you want to save the day,
You won't become a cowboy shouting "Yippie yo cayay!"
You'll do it in the wiring where no one else can see,
Solving all the mysteries,
Of computer telephony
Now it's wired with fiber optics and it almost seems to glow,
Though outside it's Minnesota with a harsh and driving snow,
Yes the nights here in the Northland are a bitter freezing cold,
But with computers hooked to telephones,
You'll never go on hold.