You know you want to

I don't come in different colours or sizes, but I am great value for money.
This year you could have your very own MrDee working at your place. (as long as your place is in Auckland)
As of tomorrow I am officially on the Job market.
So drop me a line I would love to chat.

What was XTRA thinking

Yesterday I posted an article about the Google streetview technology.
I saw it last year and took a virtual tour of Brooklyn NY. Brilliant.
I never dreamed that NZ would be in the first 10 countries to get this. Well done Google.

So when XTRA, the number one ISP in NZ (by volume) looked for a partner to offload their e-mail capability they selected Yahoo.
I assume this 'partnership' was because of the care and concern Yahoo has for our country.
just look at the stunning level of detail in the auckland Yahoo map

Pitiful.

Yahoo mail is hostile, the data is stored off shore and XTRA is still crashing more often then a drunk university student in Palmerston north.

Can anyone recommend an ISP that is affordable and still works for their money?

Walk on by...

Map here

I will wave at you from my desk :D

A support headache cured.

Computerworld > Microsoft discontinues Windows... 3.x

As of November 1, 2008 Microsoft has stopped issuing licences for Windows 3.x, which debuted in May 1990.

Published! (sort of)

Ask Phoebe : Grab a street map - you'll need it - 06 Nov 2008 - NZ Herald:

I have tried, to no avail, to discover the scale and extent of the roadworks on the Te Atatu interchange. A sign warned that the work would take from October 2008 to February 2009, but what exactly is being done? Is there a website that will explain this to me? Andrew Dixon, Te Atatu.

Try, Doh!, Whatever

Jeff Atwood : VB.NET adds the "ain't" keyword

Microsoft is also reported to be experimenting with "AsIf", "Maybe", and "Totally". In addition, "Catch" will likely be replaced with "Doh!", and "Finally" will be replaced with "Whatever".

MeDee: Code project Author

CodeProject: Database Deadlocks for Dummies.

Trying to explain a database / transaction deadlock to a non-technical person can be a challenge.

The concept however is something we have dealt with since pre-school.

Imagine a simple colouring exercise of the globe. Unless you are artistically gifted, blue and green are all that is needed to complete the picture. Being a state funded school, there is only one green and one blue crayon.

Get married or you're fired

NZ Herald Blog:

Employees at a major state-owned company in Iran have been told to marry by September or face being fired.

works for me.

Protecting your software investment

Computerworld :
Protecting your software investment

Chris Auld and Mark Johnson share tips for ensuring that you’re not left holding a can of dated spaghetti code"

excellent article.

Disable SQL Auto Recovery

If you Google a feature of a product and the first 50 hits are from people asking how to disable it, you know you have found a turkey.
This 'feature' has caused my sanity to leak at an alarming rate as I wait for slow connections to do... what exactly (I do not know)


Michael Zilberstein SQL Server Blog : Saving Auto Recovery Information

Go to Registry and change to 0 (zero) value of the following key:
HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Microsoft\Microsoft SQL Server\90\Tools\Shell\General\AutoRecover\AutoRecover Enabled

a JOIN without a NULL by any other name.. is different

• If you only come here for the pretty pictures or a laugh, this is not the post you are looking for.

• If you are a uber-geek feel free to leave a comment explaining in small words why I am a mental midget for not knowing this. (quoting appropriate reference works if desired)

• If you are a pragmatist join with me in the enjoyment of discovering a work-around for a problem.

In the following example I was expecting query 2 & 3 to return the same result.
it does not.
A LEFT JOIN with an AND clause looking for NULL is not the same as
a LEFT JOIN with a WHERE clause looking for NULL.


-- SQL Code follows
CREATE TABLE #Dude
( TheID INTEGER
, TheName VARCHAR(20)
)

CREATE TABLE #Jobs
( TheID INTEGER
, TheJob VARCHAR(20)
)

-- Dummy Data
INSERT INTO #Dude VALUES (1, 'Fred')
INSERT INTO #Dude VALUES (2, 'Freddy')
INSERT INTO #Dude VALUES (3, 'Fredrick')

INSERT INTO #Jobs VALUES (1, 'Boss')
INSERT INTO #Jobs VALUES (4, 'Slave')

-- 3 records returned - 1 with a match
SELECT D.TheID, D.TheName, J.TheID, J.TheJob
FROM #Dude D
LEFT JOIN #Jobs J On J.TheID = D.TheID

-- 3 records returned - even thought 1 has a match is is shown as having none - oops
SELECT D.TheID, D.TheName, J.TheID, J.TheJob
FROM #Dude D
LEFT JOIN #Jobs J On J.TheID = D.TheID AND J.TheID IS NULL

-- 2 records returned - only rows that do not match
SELECT D.TheID, D.TheName, J.TheID, J.TheJob
FROM #Dude D
LEFT JOIN #Jobs J On J.TheID = D.TheID
WHERE J.TheID IS NULL

-- Tidy Up
DROP TABLE #Dude
DROP TABLE #Jobs

What To Do If You Find Out Your Parents Are Using Vista

What To Do If You Find Out Your Parents Are Using Vista

10K

10,000 visitors since August 2004

OK, so I am not TradeMe!
OK, so 97% will be bots and RSS readers.
STILL 10,000 hits.
I would like to thank both of my readers (Cheers mum!)

Polite Software

'Politeness' is a critical success factor for software

1. Respect others’ rights.
Polite software respects the user, does not pre-empt user choices and does not act on or copy information without its owner’s permission.

2. Openly declare itself.
Polite software does not sneak or change things in secret, rather it openly declares what it does, who it represents and how the organisation can be contacted.

3. Help the other party.
Polite software helps users make informed choices and provides useful, understandable information when needed.

4. Remember the interaction.
Polite software remembers past user choices when it comes to future interactions.

The problem with time travel.

Wikihistory: "International Association of Time Travelers"

More Cheat Sheets

Cheat Sheets - ILoveJackDaniels.com

HTML / SQL Server / CSS and many more

.NET Cheat Sheets

.NET Cheat Sheets « Just Sayin’ More Words

UserVoice

UserVoice: "Harness the Wisdom of your crowd"

Office Dysfunction Disorder.

It is a sad fact that in offices around the world there is a sad debilitating disorder slowly robbing staff of their dignity.
This crippling malady is Office Dysfunction Disorder.

What to look for:
Blindness - Unable to see mess left behind in the kitchen
Weakness - Unable to fill a water bottle or even a jug
Joint pain - Destroys the ability to bend down and put dishes in the dishwasher
Hallucinations - Believes in pixies that make the coffee
Delusions - Thinks they are better then other staff (so leaves menial tasks to them)
Paranoia - Advanced cases have been known to avoid pushing flush buttons in toilets for fear of germs.

What to do if you find a sufferer
As the person is suffering delusions, clearly reasoning will not work. As eyesight is impaired friendly gestures will be to no avail. The only avenues open are to target the working senses. Appealing to the ears by Yelling has been effective, although in advanced cases a gentle touch with a baseball bat may be required.

By doing what we can, we can help these poor, tortured souls to remain in society.
Rehabilitation has been know to occur, but only with effort from all concerned.

Don’t be ODD, we can all lend a hand.

Grammer Rules

English Rules | Grammar Rules | Punctuation and Capitalization Rules

Simple and easy to follow

It's not you, it's me.

Down for everyone or just me?

Simple, elegant, brilliant.

OCD + SQL + this = Angels sing.

Instant SQL Formatter

OK, I am obsessive about how SQL is formatted. this takes a fair chunk of the drudgery out of the task.

Outlook opening URL in Firefox error

[Howto] fix “General Failure. The URL was:” error.:

While using Outlook 2007 if an email has a URL link inside, you get the following error when you click the link:

look for the comment from Ryan

gender stereotypical joke

Sideswipe - New Zealand Herald - 01 Jan 2008

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

The sign on the first-floor door reads Floor 1: These men have jobs.
The second-floor sign reads: Floor 2: These men have jobs and love kids.
The third-floor sign reads: Floor 3: These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4: These men have jobs, love kids, are good looking and help with housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5: These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6: You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Why to use Exists rather than Count(*)

Andrew Kelly : Exists Vs. Count(*) - The battle never ends...

Both queries scanned the table but the EXISTS was able to at least do a partial scan do to the fact it can stop after it finds the very first matching row. Where as the COUNT(*) must read each and every row in the entire table to determine if they match the criteria and how many there are.