UserVoice

UserVoice: "Harness the Wisdom of your crowd"

Office Dysfunction Disorder.

It is a sad fact that in offices around the world there is a sad debilitating disorder slowly robbing staff of their dignity.
This crippling malady is Office Dysfunction Disorder.

What to look for:
Blindness - Unable to see mess left behind in the kitchen
Weakness - Unable to fill a water bottle or even a jug
Joint pain - Destroys the ability to bend down and put dishes in the dishwasher
Hallucinations - Believes in pixies that make the coffee
Delusions - Thinks they are better then other staff (so leaves menial tasks to them)
Paranoia - Advanced cases have been known to avoid pushing flush buttons in toilets for fear of germs.

What to do if you find a sufferer
As the person is suffering delusions, clearly reasoning will not work. As eyesight is impaired friendly gestures will be to no avail. The only avenues open are to target the working senses. Appealing to the ears by Yelling has been effective, although in advanced cases a gentle touch with a baseball bat may be required.

By doing what we can, we can help these poor, tortured souls to remain in society.
Rehabilitation has been know to occur, but only with effort from all concerned.

Don’t be ODD, we can all lend a hand.

Grammer Rules

English Rules | Grammar Rules | Punctuation and Capitalization Rules

Simple and easy to follow

It's not you, it's me.

Down for everyone or just me?

Simple, elegant, brilliant.

OCD + SQL + this = Angels sing.

Instant SQL Formatter

OK, I am obsessive about how SQL is formatted. this takes a fair chunk of the drudgery out of the task.

Outlook opening URL in Firefox error

[Howto] fix “General Failure. The URL was:” error.:

While using Outlook 2007 if an email has a URL link inside, you get the following error when you click the link:

look for the comment from Ryan

gender stereotypical joke

Sideswipe - New Zealand Herald - 01 Jan 2008

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

The sign on the first-floor door reads Floor 1: These men have jobs.
The second-floor sign reads: Floor 2: These men have jobs and love kids.
The third-floor sign reads: Floor 3: These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4: These men have jobs, love kids, are good looking and help with housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5: These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6: You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Why to use Exists rather than Count(*)

Andrew Kelly : Exists Vs. Count(*) - The battle never ends...

Both queries scanned the table but the EXISTS was able to at least do a partial scan do to the fact it can stop after it finds the very first matching row. Where as the COUNT(*) must read each and every row in the entire table to determine if they match the criteria and how many there are.

Silliness (Flash warning)

Cows With Guns Flash Movie

We are free roving bovines, we run free today

SQL injection attacks explained... sort of

xkcd: "Exploits of a Mom"

Choosing the right field type matters. Here is why.

In Recovery... - Paul S. Randal on SQL Server: "How can data-type choice affect performance?"

Auto Shrink DB = FRAGMENT index

Auto-shrink – turn it OFF!

Casting

Cheat Sheet - Casting in VB.NET and C# - The Code Project - .NET

What kind of join am I? (example SQL code)

Create Table Fred
( TheID INTEGER
, TheName VARCHAR(20)
)

Create Table Jobs
( TheID INTEGER
, TheJob VARCHAR(20)
)

INSERT INTO Fred VALUES (1, 'Fred')
INSERT INTO Fred VALUES (2, 'Freddy')
INSERT INTO Fred VALUES (3, 'Fredrick')

INSERT INTO Jobs VALUES (1, 'Boss')
INSERT INTO Jobs VALUES (4, 'Slave')

SELECT F.TheID, F.TheName, J.TheID, J.TheJob
FROM Fred F
INNER JOIN Jobs J On J.TheID = F.TheID

SELECT F.TheID, F.TheName, J.TheID, J.TheJob
FROM Fred F
RIGHT JOIN Jobs J On J.TheID = F.TheID

SELECT F.TheID, F.TheName, J.TheID, J.TheJob
FROM Fred F
LEFT JOIN Jobs J On J.TheID = F.TheID

Fashion Slave

ThinkGeek: "Wi-Fi Detector Shirt"

IT truths

Computerworld:

Seven years later, IT truths still hold Frank Hayes' 2000 column still relevant today

Now we have a medical reason to eat chocolate

BBC NEWS | Health | Chocolate 'aids fatigue syndrome':

Patients in a pilot study found they had less fatigue when eating dark chocolate with a high cocoa content than with white chocolate dyed brown. Researchers from Hull York Medical School said the results were surprising but dark chocolate may be having an effect on the brain chemical serotonin.

Fujitsu to acquire Infinity

ComputerWorls article

Strap yourselves in - this could be an interesting ride.

BTW "reporting from the edge of Fujitsu" is not quite the kewl tag line I am looking for.

SQL Server XML Cribsheet

SQL Server XML Cribsheet

a simple but good reason for Partial Methods in VB

What are Partial Methods useful for?

Interesting Architecture Discussion

Is we or isn't we a profession?

Real-time Web Monitor

Real-time Web Monitor: "Akamai monitors global Internet conditions around the clock. With this real-time data we identify the global regions with the greatest attack traffic, cities with the slowest Web connections (latency), and geographic areas with the most Web traffic (traffic density)."

SQL Server password bypass

How to access SQL Server when you've forget the password

Nice piece on the evils of FPQ

Mindscape - MindBlog: "How to Win the Services Game"

SQL Server: JOIN vs IN vs EXISTS - the logical difference

SQL Server: JOIN vs IN vs EXISTS - the logical difference:

There is a common misconception that IN behaves equaliy to EXISTS or JOIN in terms of returned results.
This is simply not true. To see why not, let's review what each statement does.

IN: Returns true if a specified value matches any value in a subquery or a list.
Exists: Returns true if a subquery contains any rows.
Join: Joins 2 resultsets on the joining column.